Getting things straightened out in a relationship can feel like trying to put together a rubik's cube. You know it can be done, but which way do I turn this thing to get it all on the same page? Twist, turn, frustration, anger, silence, repeat. When it comes to relationships, the key to unity is honest, heartfelt communication.

How to Get Beyond the Surface

Don’t discount small talk. It’s the ordinary everyday conversation that gets you the buy-in to move below the surface. True connection will will require you to open up about your feelings. The trust to have a sincere heart-to-heart and not a one filled with blame and rage allows you to progress to the next level. Once hearts are open, the deepest needs can be heard and considered.

4 Things That Just Don’t Help

1. Withdrawal. Silent treatments are a no-go. Breaing this pattern requires open communication and vulnerability
2. Being Louder. Yelling rarely wins an argument or gets you closer to a resolution. The angrier you get, the less likely you are to have ears that hear and are quick to listen.
3. Fighting Dirty. No putting each ther down. A positive tone is the key to healthy conversation.
4. “Always” and “Never”. It’s just not true. Relationships are not one-way streets to happiness. Healthy relationships require join effort that is open and collaborative to build something strong and long lasting.

3 Ways to Get It Right

1. Be Teachable. Understand that your feelings and perceptions may not align with reality. A teachable spirit says, “I could be wrong here.” 
2. Embrace Partnership. Keep it equal - both voices matter. Serve each other and create an environment where conversation can happen without fear. It’s all about honor and respect.
3. Remember Legacy. Prioritize relational parenting that is an overflow of a healthy marriage. Embrace open communication with approprite boundaries. Taking responsiblity for personal faults and owning failures and mistakes are teachable moments for everyone. Love, grace, and forgiveness are foundational to a healthy family.

In a relationship, healthy communication is the stickiness keeps things together. When we put in the work, we create relationships that have the strength to withstand even the toughest of days.