What this comes down to: What happens to you matters. But what forms in you because of it matters more.

There are moments where something shifts in you because of how someone treated you. It is not always obvious right away, but over time it starts to affect how you respond, how you trust, and how you carry yourself in relationships.

In the Bible, David, who would later become king of Israel, spent years under a leader named Saul. Saul started by supporting David, but eventually became jealous and unstable. What followed was a long season where David had to navigate pressure, uncertainty, and personal threat without losing who he was becoming.

Stay grounded in the process

David’s life did not immediately move to the crown after God called him. There was a long stretch where he had no control over his circumstances. He was forced into environments that felt uncertain and unstable. It’s important to know when this happens in your life, those seasons are not wasted.

Psalm 57:1 shows how David approached it: “In the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, until the disaster has passed.”

David did not rush the process or try to force an outcome. He stayed grounded in what he knew about God, even when his situation had not changed.

There are seasons where growth is happening, even when progress is not visible.

Respond with restraint

There are multiple moments where David is directly attacked by Saul. In one instance, Saul throws a spear at him. Later, David has an opportunity to respond and take control of the situation himself, but He chooses not to. What response will you take? The decision is important. Most people either hold onto what hurt them or respond out of it. David steps back instead of reacting.

Restraint does not mean ignoring what happened. It means choosing not to let that moment dictate your response. Your response will shape what develops in you over time.

Pay attention to what your pain is producing

Eventually, David still becomes king. Everything around him changes, but if nothing inside of him had, he would not be able to carry the weight of a kingdom.

If something has not been addressed in your life, it does not disappear when life improves. It shows up in how you lead, how you handle pressure, and how you treat people.

Choosing to do others better than they have done you is always the high road. Jesus tells us in Matthew 20:26, “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant.”

There are moments in life where you cannot control what happens to you.  When the hard times show up, build the discipline to push beyond the pain and focus on what it is producing.